Are We Really All That Different?

Do men really not have specific dreams? Perhaps I'm just an aberration - but I've had some pretty detailed hopes and dreams from the time I was really young. A blogger I follow, Chloe, has postulated that men are not as willing or eager to be open about their big fairy tale-esque dreams.

One thing I do admit, before I launch into a full bore rebuttal - in pragmatism it's all too easy to write off our hopes and desires in life to reconcile with the stark reality of our means. I'm very much on the fence as it pertains to holding onto unrealistic fantasy whilst pressing forward with life as it comes and presents itself, often at odds with the direction I want life to go in. It's better to lose than to never have tried. We've got to be a step ahead of the rest, if we are to be the best.

Here is what I wanted (and still want) in life:

I wanted to be a commercial pilot. It's what I wanted to do with my life from the earliest time that I was really cogent enough to understand it. More specifically, I wanted to fly Boeing 747 freighters for a living. I envisioned many trips, from start to finish, from taking the plane over in Bucharest Otopeni Airport on a snowy winter day. We'd depart at 11:35, late because of issues with getting the cargo door latched. After an uneventful flight to Lagos, we'd all have dinner at the Sofitel before heading out to the local jazz club for drinks before turning in for the night. It's a very 'male' fantasy, but nonetheless, very specific in scope, detail, and plan.



Regarding aviation: I've worked in the field, and want to get involved again - but the reality is that this is not a viable career path, and won't get me to the rest of my fantasy fairy tale-esque life. I need an actual revenue stream for that, and that requires a real job, with real responsibility. Real risks must be taken to make these things happen.

My home will be a starkly modern building, fashioned after the designs of Joseph Eichler, on a hillside in the Palo Alto hills, looking back toward I-280 and Stanford University. The entire side of the house would be modern glass, with a balcony on the main level. The rest of the home's materials would be unpainted redwood for the support beams and structure. The master bedroom would be on the main floor, with a two large french doors leading in, to a king-size bed with 1,000 thread count satin sheets over a pillow-top mattress. The bedroom, too, would have a view. I would get home, and be greeted by two white cats and a German Shepherd. This is my fantasy life - and while at this point in my life, it is a fantasy - I am going to do my damnedest to make it happen! Will I settle for less? I may have to, but the end goal will always be in sight.

Often times, Chloe is correct, men don't share these ideas and dreams. I won't vocalize these grand schemes unless I have the clear opportunity and reason to do so. Men don't open up about what's inside. We operate as closed 'mystery boxes' in this society, rarely allowing true feelings and desires to be known - engaging in a giant 9-dimensional Chess game of life. Men aren't all that different inside. There's no reason to hide these desires and wishes from public consumption - I think it makes a person more 'real'. It puts it all out there - this is what I want in life, and it is what I am working to accomplish for myself.

I feel it's just the presentation of what's within that is affected by social expectations; of how a man is expected to act, behave, and present himself to the world. These archetypes are simply artificial constructs of history, society, and status quo. The barriers between the genders have no place in a modern and enlightened society.

Another post to come - about my dreams and desires for the world at large. I'm not so egocentric so as to have big dreams only for myself. The world deserves and is capable of so much more, and there is absolutely no reason that 2 billion people live in relative security and comfort, while the rest have to worry about getting enough food and water to survive on a daily basis. As a species, we collectively hold the power, technology, and resources to provide for everybody - and it is my belief that it is a matter of political will and resource allocation that these pressing issues have been overlooked or worse, not acknowledged.

Our continued way of life in this civilization is dependent upon humanity collectively dreaming up and subsequently acting on the big solutions to our pressing issues of climate change (perhaps the biggest threat our species faces in the next several generations), of feeding and providing for every human; of preserving and strengthening our industrial society that has provided support for the creation of much information, technology, and wealth. Preserving and strengthening these systems will ensure the survival of the species. We have our work cut out for us.